That LOST FOREVER feeling…

I haven’t been updating this blog for quite some time because of the simple reason that I was not getting that drive to write. There was no dearth of topics, but nothing was coming straight from my heart.

In between I wrote an entry on a couple of movies I watched, but deleted them after about a month. I thought the entry I wrote did not make any logic.

However, today it is different. Anil Kumble has retired from international cricket. Now, how does it matter to me in such way it left me very sad and stunned? Why did his departure scenes on television leave me teary eyed? Why did I have this strange urge to sob uncontrollably?

This was something similar to what happened when I watched Abhinav Bindra winning India’s first individual Olympics gold.

Now I believe, we are deeply attached to certain elements around us, but we are never conscious of that fact until some change happens to that pattern.

On a normal day, in normal circumstances, seeing that person in action, or having a word with him, or sharing the work with him would all look very ordinary for us. He may be part of your family, a colleague, a politician you had been watching for years, a film star, or now here, a member of the Indian cricket team.

Now, suddenly, the awareness dawns that, you won’t be able to see that person the manner in which you had been watching him for years. That single thought itself is so powerful that, it would leave you numb. Then you slowly go back to all those years you had been watching/seeing him and you would feel sorry for having neglected the true value of being with that person, or watching that person.

All these years, you had been taking him for granted that, he would be there forever. And suddenly you releases, it is not the case and that hurts!

Only on the day Bindra won gold, I realized I am a patriotic in nature!

Now, in this case of Anil, I would be lying if I say I did not care for him as a cricket follower. To tell you the truth, Kumble and Venkatesh Prasad are the only two International cricketers whom I watched in action on the field. (I met Sehwag during an ad shoot, and Azhar and Manjrekar at a party).

So when I got the news that Kumble is hanging up his boots, obviously 1995-96 came to mind, when I watched him playing Ranji Trophy against Kerala in Thalasseri. I was in college and bunked classes to watch him. So, now this awareness that I admired Kumble has come to light when it is all over!

Another experience: On the day I became a father, someone told me the veteran Congressman K Karunakaran was no more. The news did hurt me so much and I even felt like, the news took away a portion of the joy the day gave me with the birth of my daughter. Now, why should I be so concerned to that extent? I am in no way personally related to Karunakaran. I am not even an ardent fan of him.

Then why? Now here, is that strange connectivity element comes into play. I had been watching him all these years and I realized on that day that, how difficult it would be to imagine Kerala politics without K Karunakaran! Later, I tried to confirm the development and, when the news turned out to be a hoax, you can imagine how relieved I was!

So, appreciating those people as if there is no tomorrow would definitely make a difference, I feel.


(pic courtesy: Cricinfo.com)